I know it's been two whole weeks since I last posted. I really would like to be able to post regularly, but I'm finding it difficult at the moment. Maybe it's because my computer is not running well-- it takes FOREVER to upload photos from my camera, if they upload at all (anyone have any info about a virus entitled "Trojan.Vundo"?) Maybe it's because my body has been feeling very fatigued lately (any have any thoughts on fibromyalgia?). Maybe it's because I'm overwhelmed by my home child care business (anyone have any tips on filing taxes when you're self-employed?) .
Perhaps it is due, in part, to feeling that my writing is anadequate. As a young child, I remember providing silent narration for everything that was happening, as if my life were an autobiography. Once I reached Junior High and school became very boring for me, I began to fill notebooks with strange stories, crazed ramblings, and silly poems reminiscent of Louis Carrol. This continued all through high school and partially into college. My notebooks rarely contained class notes. It didn't matter, I could spend all class period drawing or writing and still get A's. I could write a paper the night before it was due (or even the mornign of) and still get a good grade. That's how proficient my writing was. The writing flowed. Such is not the case anymore. Now, I have to think about how I want to word something for minutes before I write each sentence. My vocabulary is not as extensive. I fumble for the right word. These are things I wish to remedy. Hopefully writing in this blog will be one way to practice my writing skills and maybe bring them up to the level they once were. From the days when I aimagined my life as a story to now, I have often envisioned myself as a writer in some professional capacity. I still know this to be true, there are articles yet to be written, children's books to be completed, craft how-to's to be published. They are there, just waiting for my writing proficiency to catch up with them. As I write this, these dreams seem closer, more attainable, even as I pause between each word to think about what the next one should be.
wishing you small steps toward personal goals,
Mama Randa the someday writer